Fool’s Golden Era

Morning Musume ’22 – “Dai・Jinsei Never Been Better!”

The second song from Morning Musume ’22’s forthcoming 71st single is a bit of a disappointment for me for a number of reasons, but what makes it worse is that its formula is one that I’m usually a sucker for. Upbeat buoyant pop with a hopeful and cheery vibe that channels the Golden Era? You have my attention. A touch of gospel horns and piano? Okay! Written by Tsunku and arranged by Shunsuke Suzuki? Lets. Fucking. Go! All the ingredients for a stand-the-test-of-time MM classic are present, and yet the end result feels like ersatz Fool’s Golden Era.

I like the song and much of the arrangement, but for a funky soulful pop song “Dai・Jinsei Never Been Better!” feels pretty sterile and soulless. You can pin the blame for this on the mix and an overall production philosophy that is hell bent on eliminating anything that might be considered a “mistake.” Every note and beat is quantized to the millisecond on the Pro Tools grid, and every voice is tuned and stretched to be in mathematically tight alignment.

Instrumentally, there are some cool parts — the guitars and bass line in particular — but the mix is so flat that nothing stands out enough to hold your attention or drive the groove. Somehow, they managed to create a mix where every instrument sounds buried despite being clearly recognizable. The drums mostly feel robotic — to the point where I can’t say with certainty if they’re live, programmed or a hybrid of the two — because like everything else they’re strictly time-aligned to the grid. Same for the horns — are they performed or plugins? Can’t tell, in part because they really are buried more than they should be on a song like this. The result of this senseless pursuit of perfection is to tame everything that might’ve added some personality or created some magic with a high dose of digital Adderall.

This was supposed to be the track that appeased the No-More-EDMusume! crowd, yet they recorded it as if it were another EDM track. As sick as I am of the all-harmonies-all-the-time vocals, they at least fit the EDM sound, but on a song that channels a Golden Era formula that’s perfect for featuring individual members, there are zero true solo lines. The closest we come are several instances of members being pushed up in the mix to stand out, but that’s it. Go back and listen to some of the songs “Dai・Jinsei Never Been Better!” is calling back to: “Ganbacchae,” “Ai Araba IT’S ALL RIGHT,” “Dekkai Uchuu ni Ai ga Aru,” or the original “I WISH.” Those songs have bounce and electricity created by dominant grooves that are pushed forward in the mix, and the unison vocals are more alive (souda!) because the natural differences in timing and pitch between the singers hasn’t been digitally “corrected.” This just feels safe, which is odd considering how many chances the lead track “Chu Chu Chu Bokura no Mirai” takes.

The video clip is fairly simple even by historic H!P standards, but it’s appropriate for the song. The costumes for the dance shots continue the recent trend of real-world-chic fashions that H!P’s legacy groups have been sporting in videos, and they’re great. The blue color palette fits the beach-front resort location, which itself fits the vibe of the song. The small-group aerial shots on the deck are particularly nice, offering a fresh angle for an H!P music video. Where they lose me is when they move inside the room for the group interaction scenes, because these scenes are designed to elicit a feeling of friendship and joy, but they mostly feel forced. Compare MM ’22 in “Dai・Jinsei Never Been Better!” to Angerme in “Aisubeki Beki Human Life” to see what I mean. The later looks like they’re actually hanging out and having fun together, while the former looks more like the day at the office that it is. It’s almost as if MM hasn’t done “cute” in so long that they’ve forgotten how to pull it off, which is weird because “Beat no Wakusei” pulls it off (barely), and that was literally one single ago. Unfortunately, it’s these stiff scenes that most align with the strained production of the music, and the mix of the two leaves me with a cooler feeling than a song like this ought to.

If my social media feeds are any indication, I’m not the only one left cool by “Dai・Jinsei Never Been Better!,” because I can’t remember any modern era H!P song that has been met with as much apathy as this. A lot of wota hated “Chu Chu Chu…,” but at least they were talking about it. As I write this — just two days after its premier — the video has notched fewer than 250K views, which seems low for the flagship. At this rate it will be lucky to match the 500K+ first week views that Tsubaki Factory’s outstanding “Adrenaline Dame” has amassed, because it doesn’t seem to be getting a lot of repeat views at the moment. Like MM ’22’s remake of “I WISH” (which suffers many of the same issues, if we’re being honest) this should’ve been a song to unite the wota who are done with the EDMusume sound with those who still dig it, but unlike the new “I WISH,” “Dai・Jinsei Never Been Better!” doesn’t have the built-in nostalgic feels to carry it across the finish line. YouTube should’ve dropped a “Misleading” banner on the video, because Morning Musume has absolutely been better than this.